As I sit here reflecting on the last year, and most vividly the last six months, the one thing that calls out more loudly than anything else at this moment is love. It just so happens to be overwhelming me right now. And yes, ultimately that is a good thing, though it has taken a heck of a lot for me to get there. I'm sure there is some fancy literary term for starting with the ending and then going on to tell the story from the beginning. I'm too tired to google it, but that's what I'm about to do.

So, love. I found it in the truest, deepest form in the most unexpected of places. How did it affect me? In so many ways, because it's not just one kind of love. It's completely multi-faceted. It was total happenstance that two incredibly life-changing events took place for me at exactly the same moment. I knew it would rock my world and shake my foundation, but as I ran head first into my 'new' life, I had no idea how.

I wanted to think I was ready for it, that I was ready for anything, but I soon discovered I really wasn't. I've been going back and forth about how detailed I was going to get here. Those friends who go way back know that opening up personally here was a challenge for me at first, but eventually become therapeutic at a time when that was what I needed more than anything. So, while I could probably write for six hours straight and share every day of the last six months, I'll give you the cliffnotes version. You still may want to settle in with a cup of coffee, as most of you know I have a tendency to ramble. A little…

At first, my 'disappearance' was sparked by the phase of training my husband was about to begin at the time. The 'men in charge' like to dig up dirt to make the hell more hellish and while we've always been smart and secure in that aspect, I figured better safe than sorry. He also left for the field at this time and was gone until this past weekend, so I had lots of time to sit around by myself and think.

Now of course I wasn't just sitting around by myself, I was going going going 24-7, in typical Nicole fashion, but ultimately, something just wasn't feeling right. I do think a huge part of it was suddenly withdrawing from something that was my life for so long, but the rest of it was the continual sinking in and final settling of what I had gone through the last couple years and what my life was now. It's been a year and there's rarely a day that passes that I don't stop, for at least a moment, and think how surreal it all feels. Some days I forget that I'm not in Ohio, until I go outside in early January in a sundress and sandals or I see paratroopers falling from the sky while I'm running at the lake.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that it began, but one of the biggest things I've been struggling with is my sense of purpose, I guess you could say. In general I just had this overwhelming, burning desire to do something more, be a part of something bigger. I know that part of it has to do with being right up in the middle of the military hub of the universe, but it is more than that. I had and have a few things that I'm thinking about, but one of the hardest parts about it all is realizing that it's not something I can figure out and jump into overnight. It's quite a process of mutually deciding with my husband what will work for both of us and internally debating between how much time and effort I not only have to put into something, but want to put into something.

For example, I'd love to be a combat photographer for the Army until my husband retires and we build our dream art barn and hide away with 50 acres, 50 goats and no other people in sight. However, do my husband and I want to be getting shot at in different countries until then, seeing each other for maybe a month out of every year for the next 10? Probably not. Example two, I'd love to be a doctor, and if I could wake up tomorrow and start doing trauma surgery, I'd totally do it. Do I want to be a doctor bad enough that I'll spend the next 15 years training for it? Not a chance. I could go on, but I did say cliffnotes, didn't I?

So where does that leave me now? I'm not sure. Here's what I've been doing in the meantime…

Running. An old part of my life since renewed. It was October 17. I had such a crazy, insane, stressful day that I felt like my head was going to explode. So, I decided to run and run I did. It was dark, it was raining, it felt awesome. And that was the beginning of that. I hadn't run in over 15 years and never thought I would again. My goal for 2012 is to run 500 miles. A broken foot on Christmas Eve has made my progress pretty slow, but I'm getting back in the saddle and hope to be on track soon.

I've also been volunteering with the family group for the training school my husband is in. This is something I began when I first arrived and have continued to growth with and enjoy. It keeps me very busy, and in it's own way, is making a difference in people's lives. It's given me the chance to meet some amazing people who have changed my life and has taken me places I never expected to go.

A big thanks to Jaime for being in the Spotlight this month and to all who stopped by to check out her interview!

Before I announce the giveaway winner, Jaime is offering 15% off all orders on her website, www.bella-bijou.com, when you enter coupon code lilly15! Valid through September 4.

Now onto the giveaway winner…

Congratulations to AMBER! She loves the Carry the Sky Druzy Necklace shown below (me, too!) and never leaves the house without her phone. I think we can all relate to that!

And for all of you who said chapstick, I'm right there with you! I'm hopelessly addicted to the stuff. Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers is my preference. It started in 1997 and I've been hooked ever since…